11:00pm: WHOOPS. I wake up from an accidental 3 and a half hour nap. I went to sleep at 730pm set 3 alarms for 830pm but apparently I turned them all off. I have no memory of this. This is why I stopped day drinking, because boozy brunch turns into afternoon drinking which turns into falling asleep for “naps” and waking up hung over on Saturday nights. Hence my love/hate relationship for Brunch. I love poached eggs but pre-fixes with drinks are my downfall. I wake up to about 12 text messages and 2 missed calls.

I was supposed to meet Lauren for Floating Points live set at Music Hall of Williamsburg. Missed it. Luckily I didn’t actually pay for a ticket, I had a Jukely pass so I just am filled with regret for missing the experience and not remorse for wasting money. Love Jukely. I feel like I work for Jukely with the amount of time I spend explaining Jukey to people and telling people they should get Jukely.* I start to get ready, chug some rally coffee and try to get out the door before midnight.

12:30pm: I arrive in Brooklyn to meet up with Sara at a house party in Williamsburg. The apartment is down the street from Baby’s Alright & Peter Lugar in South Williamsburg and it’s the whole building. So I think technically it’s a house. I walk through the door and there is a couple ferociously making out on the sofa/bed. The next room is completely packed with people. There are free individually packaged black & white cookies on the counter. Almost no one is speaking English. There is a backyard with a HOT TUB? It’s not open but that’s not even the point, who the fuck has a hot tub in New York. Hello owner of this apartment? Where are you and can I be your best friend?

Where has Sara led me? I find Sara down the stairs in the basement with a handsome DJ on a nice sound system and party lighting. Why do all house parties now have some with super nice equipment DJing? Is it because everyone wants to be a “producer” and bought like 5K worth of equipment and then just went back to their day job and now just loans it out for parties so they feel like it wasn’t wasted. Is everyone friends with people who are actual DJs now? Not sure. I am not against it but it just really puts my party music of the Bluetooth speaker and my Pandora stations to shame.

1:00am: I buy a Gatorade from the bodega. They have my favorite flavor “radioactive blue” or more commonly known as Glacier Freeze. I buy a Gatorade and chips because I am SO hung over from earlier today and I need the hydration to dance. Not my proudest moment but the techno calls and I need some rally juice.

This vintage gatorade commetical accurately depicts how gatorade makes me feel.

1:30am: Arrive at the Good Room in Greenpoint to see Voices from the Lake. They are playing as part of the Brooklyn Electronic Musical Festival, or BEMF for short. They let me in with my Gatorade so now this is my favorite venue/club ever. They know a good dance party needs electrolytes. The bar at the Good Room also has chugs of water and cups on the bar because they aren’t jerks who feel the need to sell you $5 bottles of water and shame you for ordering tap water. Everyone needs water, the sober people, the people drinking, the people dancing and the people on drugs. And let’s be honest, denying people water is just going to led to people tipping the bartender less and more people throwing up in your bathrooms in the long run.

3:00am: Voices from the Lake are really impressing me. Lauren often says the artists she wants to see are going to be epic. I think she has great taste in music, but we have slightly different taste in music. Sometimes I don’t love the people she loves, but I think Voices from the Lake really lived up to her hype. If there was such a thing as Techno hype man, I think that would be the perfect job for Lauren. YO YO YO, THIS PRODUCER IS LAYING DOWN HEAVY BEATS FROM SPACE, GONNA MAKE YOU WISH IT WAS 1999 AND ECSTASY WAS STILL A THING – CAUSE THAT’S HOW CRAZY MY BOYZ VOICE FROM THE FUCKING LAKE ARE YO!

3:20am: There is about a 2:1 or maybe 3:1 ratio of guys to girls here this evening. So there is a huge line for the men’s room but none for the ladies room. TOOO BLESSED. Then I find $10 in the ladies room. Is this the best night ever?

4:30am: VFTL ends and the dance floor is still pretty packed. Since I had that “power nap” or complete REM cycle plus a cup of coffee, I am quite awake. Lauren & I head to the BEMF after party in Bushwick.

5:30am: This is the most actual “after hours” after party I have ever been to. They are selling all sorts of snacks including but not limited to GATORADE, bananas, coconut water, ramen & granola bars. They are also (illegally) selling beer & liquor and it’s not even particularly expensive. Everyone is smoking inside like its 1985 or Nevada. It is a ridiculous place. Someone started a fire in the bathroom with a cigarette butt! I run into more people I know from the techno mafia who were at Daniel Avery earlier. I also met Leif the rapper, who seems like a super cool dude. Having a great time except here the ratio is about a 4:1 of men to women so everyone is hitting on me hard. Dude, if you didn’t find a lady to take home at the first place you aren’t going to pull one here.

I ask a techno mafia member to pretend to be my boyfriend. I leave shortly after the sun has fully risen. There is a skylight and the sun is shining through. It’s so early I take the subway home. I almost feel like a productive member of society. GOOD MORNING NEW YORK.

*Please follow this link for a description of Jukely. If you go to shows/concerts at Output, Verboten, Baby’s Alright, Music Hall of Williamsburg, Terminal 5, Webster Hall, Le Poisson Rouge, etc at least twice a month you should probably get Jukely. And if you’re a procrastinator like me, they often have passes for shows that are already sold out. Or “members” only shows at small venues. I saw Courtney Barnett at Baby’s Alright last month, and I got a free poster and a decent tote bag. I should probably stop telling people to get it so there are less people vying for passes and I just get to go to everything I want all the time.