6:20pm: Arrive at the Belasco Theatre to put my name into the Hedwig & the Angry Inch Ticket Lottery. Probably the silliest lottery ever because you basically win the privilege to still pay money (but a lot less money $37 vs. $150) for tickets they haven’t sold yet. So having lived in NYC for 6 years, I have entered many ticket “lotteries” and I have literally never ever won. Not even once. I have gone to shows with lotto tickets before, but only because my friends have won 2 tickets. I have never won. Maybe I am not praying to the right Broadways gods? Papa can you hear me? There are only like 15 people outside the theatre though so I am feeling pretty confident.

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6:29pm: Suddenly, in typical NY fashion, there are now like 60 people outside the theatre entering the lotto. Where did these people possibly come from? WHERE?!

6:30pm: Luckily I am with my friend Mia, who is not currently cursed by the “no lotto ticket jinx “and her name is drawn. Praise Mia. I think her love for Taye Diggs overpowered my bad luck. Yes!

6:37pm: A high-pitched whiny blonde girl informs me that I am not allowed to wait in the lobby while Mia buys tickets. A silly rule but I go outside because it’s better than listening to her speak. Outside there are the other +1s of the winners.

I will just state right now that I was/am a theatre person – more specifically a musical theatre person. I went to two musical theatre camps in high school, I know every lyric to the soundtrack of Les Mis (including the full version of “Little People”), I have character shoes in tan & black (Capezio t-straps) – but I have a little, not so secret, secret - I never liked other musical theatre people. They irk me. They are too cheerful and awkward. They always want to do like sing-alongs in public (no one cares guys) and want to be your best friend (but not actually…) but also they want to kill you (because you got “their part”) and think you’re fat in your jazz pants (everyone looks fat in jazz pants guys).

6:38PM: So basically everyone outside is the MOST typical musical theatre person ever. Like the type of people who you think don’t actually exist in this extreme state…but they do. Comically MT people; like Ryan Murphy & Lea Michelle’s fat love children, who high on life, after listening to Sondheim for the first time. And… I can’t even. I do feel a little mean and sad for hating them so much. Maybe I hate myself a little for not ever having that enthusiasm? Or do I hate myself for hating them? And then Mia comes outside and I can even again.

6:45pm: We go to Mexicue for dinner. This is one of the two not fancy restaurants, I know, near Times Square (the other being Shake Shack) that has good food. I get a Paloma to start. It is pretty exceptional with the addition of hibiscus flowers and a little chili simple syrup. Mexicue is fusion Mexican BBQ place and for some reason almost every dish has brussels sprouts in it. I got the kale & quinoa salad (which has Brussels sprouts in it) with burnt-ends chili. My favorite way to eat kale is totally covered in brisket.

7:45pm: It’s the last week for this show so a lot of people are die hard fans who have seen it multiple times. The staff seems grumpy but wouldn’t you be grumpy if you were an usher? Has anyone ever dreamed of being an usher?*

Snapped this bad boy without the ushers seeing though.

8:00pm Taye Diggs is lowered from the ceiling in a super crazy alien David Bowie sparkly outfit, which he immediately strips off. I am entranced. He’s a beautiful man and very much a man even in his short mini skirt and heels. There is nothing femme about Taye Diggs but he plays an excellent sassy Hedwig nonetheless. I have not seen the movie nor the previous stars on Broadway so I have no comparison. He’s a great performer but throughout the show I keep thinking; what was Neil Patrick Harris or John Cameron Mitchell like in this part? As part of the show Diggs makes topical jokes, ad-libs and puns. He makes a Frozen joke and the crowd goes wild; a mild dig at his ex-wife Idina Menzel but Frozen came out two years ago guys. Can Frozen be over now? Or at least can we put it on hold till Frozen two? Can we just let it go already?**

9:45pm: The cast takes their bows I am staring at Taye Diggs mostly naked body covered in glitter. I shouldn’t really be surprised but I am surprised how much I was turned on by the glitter. Maybe I am just attracted to shiny things?

10:15pm: I get off the subway and sing varying show-tunes very loudly as they pop into my head on my walk home through Stuy Town because inside I am probably the annoying musical theatre people I hate. I kept singing though because IN THE DARKNESS THE TREES ARE FULL OF STARLIGHT guys.

*Though I think plenty of people have dreamed of Usher - am I right ladies?

**This is very similar to the joke Taye Diggs made so maybe Frozen jokes are still funny.