7:15pm: My family leaves our room at the Beach Club in Disney World to go to our dinner reservation. Disney has started this new thing where they address your whole party as “whatever Family.” I think it’s supposed to be cute but it’s sort of creepy like they are about to murder us all because it’s not just the hostess who address us this way but the servers, the concierge, the bussers who learned our name from the computer reservation. I think I am probably too paranoid but when strangers address me with a high level of familiarity I assume they are out to get me. Have we met before today sir? Stop addressing me by my legal name. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME SIR!

My family is Disney Vacation Club Members. According to their website, Disney Vacation Club is “a cost-effective vacation ownership program.” It’s basically a time-share in the Disney World Resort. You buy it, then pay yearly dues for 40 years in order to go to vacation in Disney. * When I was younger, we used to vacation in Disney World every single year, a couple years we went multiple times a year. So eventually, my parents just decided we should take the plunge and join the Disney Vacation Club. Um what? This is our first time back at Disney World in four years (Gabby & I went to Disneyland twice in the last 2 years though). WILL IT BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT?

All of my cute Disney World Photos are at my parents house but this one was on my phone.  Gabby & I at MGM Studios circa 1998 — All of my cute Disney World Photos are at my parents house but this one was on my phone. Gabby & I at MGM Studios circa 1998

7:30pm: We arrive at Beaches & Cream, a 50s style Ice Cream & Burger shop. This should be a casual place but since it’s only 1 of 2 dinner spots at the hotel, a reservation is required. All of the hostesses are made to wear the silliest outfits: pastel striped dresses with puffy sleeves and big bows. They look like a cross between little boo peep and cotton candy. Pretty much every “cast member” outfit is on the scale of silly to completely ridiculous. Also everyone is called a “cast member” because basically they are all acting in one way or another. There is no “real” at Disney. The only real things are the real people, which is why I usually hate the other people there. YOU ARE RUINING MY PERFECT WORLD.

Ideal amount of people in Beaches & Cream

7:45pm: We are seated. The specialty of the Beaches & Cream is the “Kitchen Sink” a $29 giant sundae served in a faux metal sink dish that comes with huge pieces of cake and brownies and also every topping ever. It says on the menu it serves 4 people but it could probably serve about 10 people.

Every time a table orders one they turn down the lights put on party lights and make an announcement. Almost every table is ordering this dessert. AMERICA. I never understood super giant ice cream sundaes though, because if you don’t finish it, it melts and it’s ruined. It’s like the ultimate American decadence. Not only is it rich, fatty and way too big, you literally have to shovel it into your mouth at epic speeds to enjoy it before it melts. But that being said - we did order this once when I was 10 years old for my birthday with my grandma, sister and mom and I think we finished it. The Nadig family is a little insanely competitive. We will conquer it even if it kills us.

8:30pm: We’re very intense about Disney in the regular world but in Disney World we basically are amateurs. Everyone here is wearing all Disney clothes, Disney hats, and Disney jewelry. I think our Disney street cred might be at all-time low but I am not sure I am mad about that. I still have won Disney trivia 2 times but that was in the real world , in NYC, so I am not sure it even counts…

8:45pm: When we arrived at Disney, the concierge gave my Dad a birthday button with his name to wear. When you wear your birthday button at Disney, random cast members say “Happy Birthday!” everywhere you go. He usually replies with a terse "thank you" or he actually just said "okay" as a response to one woman.

This is the almost the exact face my Dad makes when people say "Happy Birthday"

Also when it's your birthday you basically get free dessert at every meal. 75% of the times we went to Disney in my childhood we went during winter vacation which always fell on presidents day which always fell on my birthday. Let’s just say my birthday, as a child, was extra blessed. We order a banana split to share for dinner. Since it is my Dad’s birthday they dim the lights and put a candle in our banana split and the whole restaurant sings happy birthday. My dad is embarrassed. He doesn’t like attention. Also, he is allergic to dairy so the dessert was for the Nadig ladies anyways.** However, he did get a personalized birthday card signed by Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck & Goofy.

9:30pm: We go back to the room because we have to wake up at 5:30am the next morning so we can be in line for the park at 7:15am to be first on Toy Story Mania – it opens at 8:00am. Did I mention we are a little intense and competitive?

*You can use your points to go other places too with partnerships with other hotels or Disney resorts not near the Disney parks. BUT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?!

**We bought my Dad 6 vegan donuts when we arrived. Disney is getting hip to the times and now has a vegan bakery in Downtown Disney. It’s actually sugar-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, soy-free, dairy-free, egg-free, vegan & kosher. I have no idea what ingredients are let to be in these but they actually looked decent. I think maybe they are just mostly made of coconut sugar, coconut flour, coconut flour and foam. It’s by the same people who started BabyCakes in NYC but they changed the name from BabyCakes to Erin McKenna’s Bakery NYC. Maybe they thought Babycakes was too sexual? Or people thought it was for actual babys? Unclear.