5:00pm: So glad I finally got to see the Decembrists. They are the cutest band ever. They seem so smiley and happy to be on stage even though it’s about 95 degrees at the moment. They sing the Mariners’ Revenge Song, which is a 9-minute song about seeking revenge on a sailor who left your mother with TB and you both being swallowed by a whale. At the end of the song when the lyrics describes being eaten by the whale, they bring out cardboard whale that went around and “swallowed” the band members and they all fell to the ground like they were being eaten. CUTEST BAND EVER.

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5:30pm: Waiting for alt – J. We were going to try to go see Chance the Rapper but he is at one of the smaller stages and the crowd is too wild to get anywhere close so we just camp out for a good spot for alt - J. We can hear some of his songs from our spot waiting for Alt-J though. Sad we couldn’t see his set, but so it goes with festivals.

6:30pm: alt – J starts. I have seen them before, but in Madison Square Garden from the cheap seats. This is so much better we are so so much closer. I can actually see their cute British faces. We all tessellate.*

7:30pm: We watch Nero from afar. They look and sounds like video game villains started a band together. That being said, I am sort of really into them. The anti-hero hit of dance music.

8:00pm: We go to see some of Hozier. I still can’t pronounce his name. I keep saying something more akin to hosiery or who-zer. It’s a silly name. I feel like everyone was too polite to tell him his name sounded like the department where ladies’ tights are kept.

8:30pm: The Weeknd begins. I like the Weeknd. He sounds great but like 5 minutes into his performance he sets off some sad fireworks. They pale in comparison to Drake’s fireworks. They just make me think of a metaphor for blowing your load too soon… You blew it Weeknd.

8:50pm: Realizing that pretty much every Weeknd songs sounds the same and that can get sort of boring after about 10 minutes. He is a really great singer but it’s hard to have fun at a set where every song is a sexy slo-jam. Like am I making out with someone? No. Am I going to grind with my people in this field? No. I think that the Weeknd’s style is great as the soundtrack for some slow steamy hook-ups but maybe not an hour-long festival set. They just build and build with no fast songs for the climax. I know “Earned It” was a big hit for you but your album didn’t need to be a one long soundtrack for 50 Shades of Grey. You can throw in a fast song that doesn’t drip with eye-contact sexual tension.

9:00pm: We head over to watch the end of The Strokes set. I know most of their songs because I listened to them in middle school & high school. I am having mixed feeling about their performance. They sounds pretty good but I don’t think they have their hearts in it. I think they know their time as headliners has mostly passed and they are upset about it but you’re a headliner tonight and I want you to give me your all! Is this it guys?

*I am very impressed that a band turned a word mostly used in association with tiling into a hit song.